As we reported earlier in the past about Aswad Ayinde, the music director who helped bring the video for the Fugees’ “Killing Me Softly” to life, all while he was sexually assaulting his daughters and impregnating them behind closed doors. Just last month, Ayinde was sentenced to 50 years in prison for sexual assault against his daughter Aziza Kibibi, his eldest child, on top of the 40-year sentence he was given for raping and impregnating another daughter. Kibibi has decided to open up to NJ.com about those years of horror she experienced due to her father, which included molestation at the age of eight, rape by the age of 10 and five children that came from it all (including one who passed away from complications due to inbreeding).
She spoke openly about losing her innocence at a young age, and how she wanted to run away, but couldn’t leave behind her siblings:
I’d dream about running away. I’d dream about getting all my brothers and sisters — one of my sisters was a baby, and I was taking care of her — I’d dream about growing breasts and getting milk and running away with them somewhere. I felt like I was in a nightmare. I was just trying to sleep as much as possible…. because my dreams were better than what I was living.
Kibibi also said that the first few times her father assaulted her, he claimed it was for a a good reason but he quickly turned violent:
He told me I was special. Initially, it was to teach me to be a woman. By the time he started having intercourse with me, he was getting more and more violent. When I would start fighting him, he would hit me. It was more about threats.
According to Kibibi, Ayinde forbid the family from seeking medical care, hence all the children, including those his daughters were having by him, being born in the house. She claims that he told her mother that his initial sexual interactions with her were “healing methods” to help fix her eczema…
As the abuse continued and she became pregnant, Kibibi’s first child was born healthy, and Ayinde used that child as reasoning to continue the assaults so that he could keep his bloodline “pure.” Unfortunately, some of her other children would be born with disorders, including phenylketonuria, which keeps the body from breaking down amino acids.
I don’t know if he expected her to have some medical issues, but when she didn’t, he used that as proof. She was validation.
As we told you previously, Ayinde looked at himself as some kind of powerful, almost god-like figure according to his former wife, Beverly Ayinde. Kibibi says this is true.
He told us we couldn’t pray to God. We had to pray to him and he would get the messages to God.
When one of Kibibi’s children, a son, had a seizure while Ayinde was away on a rare business trip, she bravely decided to take him to the hospital, where a social worker was alerted about their situation, and that individual called New Jersey’s Department of Youth and Family Services. After that, the children were taken by the State and placed in different homes. But Kibibi was able to fight for custody and gain all of her children back, and since then, her life has drastically changed.
I was learning the system – taking your child to doctor, taking parenting classes. With (DYFS) monitoring me, it was me just realizing ‘Wait a minute, there are people out there willing to help’,” she said. “It empowered me. At the same time, my children became my only purpose.
Kibibi lost one of her children, a young daughter born with phenylketonuria and spinal muscular atrophy who couldn’t care for herself. She passed in 2010 but Kibibi has managed to stay strong, focusing since on getting justice for herself and her sisters, going back to school, starting a baking business, getting married (she has a child from that union) and helping other women of sexual abuse:
I can make a difference. I always asked what my purpose was. Even with everything that I suffered, I still had to ask God what my purpose was. Instead of just being an experience that I had, maybe this strengthened me. What doesn’t break us make us stronger.